Life is like a bicycle
by therealladyearth
Summary: It isn't as horrid anymore! John and Karkat meet after their respective lovers break up with them. What's to do but move on? JohnKat, DaveTerezi. AU Humanstuck.


**Hey. I'm really bored, so enjoy this piece of cra-crack. Not crap. Nope.  
TRLE does not own Homestuck. She only owns this crappy plot.**

_Life is like riding a bicycle. To stay balanced, you must keep moving.  
_-Albert Einstein

A boy stands by his computer, alone. It just so happens that today, he received incredibly bad news. Now, what will this young man's name be?  
**Zoosmell Pooplord**- Oh shut up, he doesn't have time for this. Didn't we say he just received incredibly bad news?

This boy's name is John Egbert, and his boyfriend has just left him for a woman.

Isn't that horrible? To finally admit you're a homosexual after years of protesting, to find out that your fucking boyfriend is dating some girl? That you, a homosexual, had been dating a heterosexual who had claimed to be homosexual.

Yes, it is horrible. And his boyfriend had dumped him on a computer app. He could remember it like it was minutes ago...

**_ectoBiolgist _**_began pestering **turntechGodhead**_

_EB: hey Dave!  
_

_TG: ...  
_

_EB: what's the matter :? _

_TG: john, we need to talk._

_EB: what's the matter  
_

_EB: are you hurt badly or not breathing or kidnapped or raped or dead or dying?_

_TG: no, John. this is fucking seriouser than that crap._

_EB: you mean 'more serious'?_

_TG: fuck no. John, i'll be fucking blunt for you. I'm not in love with you and i'm fucking Terezi Pyrope. I despise homosexuals. Have a nice life, egderp._

_Eb: huh? what?_

_**turntechGodhead** has ceased pestering **ectoBiologist**  
_

_EB: dave? _

_EB: this isn't funny..._

_EB: ..._

_**ectoBiologist **has logged off.  
_

... Okay, it had only been three minutes ago. But after that, Dave had sent him a text saying they were through, and that he hated homosexuals with a passion.

John was now staring at his phone, shock still fresh, but he realized what had happened after blinking and leaking his tears.

So Dave hated him now? What had caused this break-up? What had John done wrong? And who was this 'Terezi Pyrope'? No answers were available, but his eyes refused to stop leaking.

* * *

Karkat Vantas was sure he was one of the unhappiest people in the world. A year ago, he'd started dating Terezi Pyrope, a beautiful young woman who happened to be blind.

He was a naturally grouchy creature, for sure, but being with her had made him smile, laugh, enjoy life. Hell, it had brought him out of his depression rut.

So when he received a text from Terezi, his hopes were high.

_Terezi: H3Y K4RK4T, W3 N33D T0 T4LK._

_Karkat: WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE, TEREZI?_

_T: 1'D L1K3 T0 S4Y TH4T W3'R3 STUCK 1N 0UR R3L4T10NSH1P._

_K: IS THIS ABOUT ONE OF MY JOBS FIRING ME?_

_T: Y3S. K4RK4T, 1 N33D S0M30N3 WH0 C4N SUPP0RT M3 1N MY L1F3, 4L0NG W1TH 4NY CH1LDR3N 1 M4Y H4V3. _

_K: OH SHIT. DON'T BE SAYING WHAT I THINK YOU'RE SAYING._

_T: PL34S3, 4S 0NLY 4 FR13ND S33 MY P01NT H3R3. 1'V3 M3T 4 W0ND3RFUL P3RS0N K4RK4T, S0M30N3 WH0 C4N SUPP0RT M3 4ND M4K3S M3 F33L C0MPL3T3. B3S1D3S, Y0U 4LW4YS GL4NC3 4T M3N 4S 1F TH3Y'R3 M0R3 F4SC1N4T1NG TH4N 1 4M. 1'M S0RRY K4RK4T, BUT W3'RE BR34K1NG UP._

_K: TEREZI, I KNOW I CAN CHANGE, PLEASE! I'LL GET EVEN MORE JOBS IF I HAVE TO!_

_Terezi Pyrope has blocked Karkat Vantas._

And there went his hopes, destroyed as he sobbed pitifully. Why, why? Why him? Who was this other man?

* * *

John sighed as he prepared the drink for the customer. He hated the coffee shop, but he had to have plenty of jobs to afford his apartment, right?

Oh great, his co-worker had just left him alone, leaving him working the small line as quickly as possible.

Man, life sucked. He remembered how angry Rose and Jade had been.

Rose had immediately chewed out her brother, but he'd been a douche and ignored her, and Jade had simply tried talking to him. No one could convince Dave of how rude he'd been.

He smiled at the grouchy man that always came for black coffee, but got back a sad look. No one else was in line, so John took his break to sit with the grouchy man.

His name was Karkat, right?

* * *

Karkat sighed as he entered the coffee shop. It was tiny, not much business, exactly how he liked it.

The usually smiling worker smiled sadly at him, handing him his goddamn black coffee. Karkat didn't glare like usual and sat by the door boredly.

"So, you're Karkat, right?" Holy shit, that coffee man was quick.

"So what?" Karkat grumbled angrily.

"You looked sad." The derpy man replied, wasn't his name John? "What happened? You can tell me anything."

"My girlfriend left me for some douche, dumping me by texting." Usually, Karkat wasn't so lenient with answering anyone with personal shit, but he was sad.

"Oh, my boyfriend dumped me on Pesterchum a week ago. Apparently he hates homosexuals now." Woah, that's shocking.

"Who'd he leave you for?" Wasn't he being prying today?

"Some girl named Ter-something."

* * *

The two talked a lot more after that, becoming quick friends.

They had similar tastes, as in stupid cheesy movies. In fact, they often lent each other cheesy movies such as Con Air and rom-coms that they'd both complain about.

It was a bit after their first real chat together that they both started having dreams.

Dreams about a video game session, and kids with grey skin, and neither the regular humans nor trolls making it out alive.

"You know," Karkat said abruptly, interrupting an odd talk of magic rainbows, "I've been having weird dreams about being an alien."

"Really?" John's eyes sparkled dorkily. "I've been having dreams about aliens too! But I'm not an alien in them..."

"It's weird, because you're in my dreams," Karkat sighed.

"That's weird," John replies. "Because you're an alien in mine."

* * *

They both keep dreaming, and realise that it may be their past life. Or some bullshit like that.

"You know, if that was a past life," the ever derpy Egbert says, "I'm glad to have found you again.?

"Me too."

* * *

The dreams start turning awkward when they dream of kissing each other before dying.

"So..." Karkat starts, awkwardly.

"So..." John replies, and after a few moments of silence, he leans down and kisses Karkat.

* * *

"You know, life is like a bicycle." Karkat spouted. "You have to keep going to stay balanced."

"Albert Einstein, right?" John asks, smiling at the shorter male. He almost smiles back.

The door opens, and in comes a laughing couple.

John stared in shock at Dave and an unknown girl. She was probably the reincarnation of Terezi.

"Terezi, this is the guy you left me for?" Karkat asked, sipping coffee.

"This is shocking, Karkat." John smiled, noting the fact that Terezi must have been Karkat's girlfriend. "My boyfriend and your girlfriend sitting in a tree?"

"Too many fucking coincidences in the world." Karkat replied. "Nice to meet you, John's ex-boyfriend."

"Nice to meet you, Karkat's ex-girlfriend." John copied, Terezi smiling a bit but frowning at the same time. "The coffee shop's closed right now, so bye!"

After they left, the two males locked eyes. Then promptly burst out laughing at the shocked expressions on their ex-lovers' faces.

After the two laughed it off, they thought about everything that had happened since they'd started talking.

John noticed Karkat was blushing slightly, and no doubt he was too.

But hey, everything starts with coincidences, don't they?

**Holy shit, it's done. **

***dies***

**Word count: 1,037**


End file.
